Operation: Fumigation
by Winekita
Summary: One-Shot. What happens when you place eleven-year-old Leo Valdez inside a private Catholic school and hand him an AXE spray can?


**_Heh. This was written in about an hour. :3 It's a really shortened and quick story._**

**_Time to see what Leo was like as a kid, right?_**

**_I hope you guys enjoy this. I loved writing it._**

_**I own nothing you recognize as canon. I don't even own the original story. Credits at the bottom.**_

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><p><strong>Operation: Fumigation<strong>

Eleven-year-old Leo Valdez twirled a piece of string through a couple pipe cleaners. The Sister running the health class was later than usual, which meant more boredom time to waste.

He was currently enrolled in an awful private school, Saint Belrond. It was one of those _wear a scratchy uniform_ and _get taught by nuns_ type of private school. And it was _definitely_ not Leo's favorite.

For some reason, they had split up the whole class for a special health lesson. Leo hoped it wasn't one that said, _'Catching fire is not normal. Contact an exorcist immediately to get the Devil out of you'_. He hadn't used his fire since the incident, but Leo could see that some of the nuns had taken steps away from him in the halls, like they sensed he could erupt into flames.

The nun that ran health class, Sister Mary Sarah, finally showed up. She had a box in her hands, which immediately intrigued Leo. He sat up straighter to see if he could peek at the contents inside.

"Good morning, class," she said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Sister Mary Sarah," the class said in the same monotonous tone. Leo never said good morning. He just mouthed it.

"Today," she began, "we will be discussing something all young pre-teens must learn. You are all at that age where you start to see and feel _changes_. These changes can be to your voice, your hair, and also to your feelings. The biggest change will be your body…"

She went on to show the class of eleven to twelve-year-old boys what changes these were via extremely and unnecessarily detailed diagram, and what exactly they would experience. It was pretty frightening. Leo wanted to puke at how detailed the Sister was getting…

"Now," she continued after they were all thoroughly scarred. "What I have here is something you all will need within the months/years to come. Please take one and pass the box back."

As the box got passed around, Sister Mary Sarah continued, "This is a body spray. Among your physical body changes, you will also begin to perspire more and gain a stronger…_aroma_ to your personal perspiration. This body spray will ensure you don't attract flies and that you smell appropriate after physical activity."

Leo grabbed one of the spray cans and examined it. It was a regular **_AXE_** spray. Leo had smelled that before, and quite frankly it was really bad—worse than B.O. One of his foster brothers was a teenager and he swam in this stuff daily. It was so disgusting Leo could taste it every time that brother walked by.

He wrinkled his nose at the thought of being forced to also swim in the spray. Then, a light bulb went off in his head and he suppressed an evil grin.

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><p>Free period.<p>

More accurately, it was study hall.

Leo didn't mind study hall personally, considering the nun that supervised his class slept through most of it. As long as you didn't get as loud as a rocket taking off in the classroom, you could get away with anything under her watch…

…which was why it was the perfect opportunity to waltz right out of the room and head down the hall. Leo walked around a bit and found the perfect corridor with a close enough escape route.

He took out his handy-dandy **_AXE_** spray, along with a bit of duct tape. He held a finger over the nozzle and taped the button all the way down so the spray would keep going.

Leo held his breath and tossed the can (now a scent bomb) down the hall. He turned tail and fled.

Around the next corner was a fire alarm, which he pulled. There weren't any sprinklers, just a bell that rang. That would get everyone out of the rooms and into the bombed hallway.

He hid inside one of the bathrooms until a large enough crowd for him to squeeze through passed by. By then half the nuns and students were covered in **_AXE_** scent and directing the students to go outside as quickly as possible.

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><p>A few hours later, an assembly was called. Gee, wonder why…<p>

All the students packed into the auditorium. The Sisters were all standing in a single line on stage.

Leo sat near the middle, so as not to be picked out. He tried to act as confused as the rest of the student body, but he was too darn proud of his successful prank.

Mother Superior walked onto the stage. She was a pretty old bird, but about as mean as a lollipop. She had the sweetest smile and never raised her voice, even to Leo, who seemed to bring out the worst in people.

She wasn't smiling now. She just had a look of disappointment on her face. That was even worse than the deep scowls the Sisters had behind her.

"Children," Mother Superior began. "I am not going to ask the culprit to step forward, nor are we going to point fingers. This matter is now between the culprit and God. However, I do hope that whoever has done this _does_ come forward to talk about this—even privately. As a young one, you are obviously going through very dark and troubling times, and I am willing to help."

Leo nearly burst out laughing then and there. _Troubling? This is the best fun I've had in ages! I need to do this more often!_

"That being said," Mother Superior continued, "I think it would be wise to…_discontinue_ the handing out of body sprays during health class. I know you all must be disappointed, considering it is a tradition among schools."

That was when Leo lost it, along with about four other students. One kid stood up and shouted, "You actually think we care? That awful **_AXE_** spray is gone! It's a miracle!"

A bunch of kids around him sang out in a chorus of Hallelujah's!

The look of horror on Mother Superior's face, coupled with the annoyed and scowling faces of the Sisters, was enough to make Leo fall to the ground laughing.

After the assembly, of course Leo had been called out, along with the other four students and the 'Hallelujah' choir. They had all been given detention slips for laughing and disrupting the assembly.

As soon as Leo was out of sight of the Sisters, he took one look at the detention slip and ripped it in half. Like he was going to go to detention after the great day he'd had!

"Best. Day. Ever."

Leo grinned triumphantly and waltzed right out the front doors to go home.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Credit goes to my coworker for telling me this story and making me laugh. This version is different than hers (she had done this with two guy friends who got caught and ran all the way to the freeway before finally losing their pursuers) but the setting and nuns are pretty much the same.**_


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